Running towards a stronger mind - 3 lessons on anxiety I learnt from training

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Signing up to do a half marathon was something I did back in January. When 2020 looked all rosey and bright-eyed and full of possibilities.

It’s been a weird year, hasn’t it? Not one for concrete plans, which can play havoc on your mental health - and did mine at times.

A few weeks into lockdown, I completed a 12 week CBT program through the NHS (a service I highly recommend). I then became furloughed from my job for the foreseeable. Faced with both a new outlook on my anxiety and a whole heap of time to over-think, worry and fall back into old patterns. Yes, there have been times where my inner anxiety raised its ugly head, but for the most part, something surprising happened.

That half marathon I signed up for, well, it got cancelled. I knew it was coming but I can’t say I wasn’t gutted. Even though the thought of the event seemed so far from attainable still. But, I decided that I’d already committed. Not only to raising money for Macmillan, but to myself. I’d committed to train for and run this race —whether it was official, or not.

So I started training. I downloaded the Nike Run Club app and kicked off the 14 Week Half Marathon Programme. I’ve been running five times a week for the past 11 weeks at the time of writing this, and I’ve discovered some important lessons as a direct result. It turns out, for me at least, there’s a strong connection between running and my anxiety.

Running distance takes practice, and so does dealing with anxiety.

Much like learning to run longer distances, learning to deal with anxiety symptoms takes time, commitment and practice. You’re not going to be able to bat off a panic attack the first time one happens. How could you? You’ve never done it before. But, you can learn the skills and the tools to help you combat it, should it happen again. Tools like this one:

Focus shifting.

Learning to shift your focus away from an internal worry, fear or symptom, and onto an external object, sound or situation, can stop you honing in on —and catastrophising— the feeling you’re experiencing. It’s a powerful tool to master, but not an easy one.

Here’s one to practice:

When you’re listening to a song, try and pick out one single instrument and really listen to only that sound for a while. Say, 30 seconds. After that, switch to another instrument and do the same. Keep switching throughout the song. Can you do it? Does your mind wander? It’s difficult but it’s a great way to train your brain and control where you fixate your thoughts. A skill you can use when anxiety starts to take over —switching your focus to something else can help ease the worry.

Tempo runs forced me to come face to face with my thoughts.

Tempo runs can be strenuous. They’re designed to get you comfortable with being uncomfortable, by making you sustain a certain effort for a prolonged amount of time. When you’re running like that, your mind wanders. But, having nowhere to go other than one foot in front of the other, I'm forced to deal with it and keep going. And you know what I've noticed? They pass. Thoughts come and go, and if you can acknowledge them and push through, they’ll pass. Much like the feeling of being uncomfortable on the run itself, the more you keep running, the closer you get to the finish line —the time will pass. And you can complete it, even if you thought you couldn’t.

Committing to the training has shown me what I’m capable of.

I’ve never been a runner. Honest. I was the girl who couldn’t do 1km without stopping in an out of breath teary mess. And now? I’m up to 10 miles straight, something I never thought possible. And it goes to prove that you change. We change. We learn and evolve and adapt. We CAN make positive changes, when we need to. We have that strength inside of us and can access that little extra internal motivation to stick with it.

It’s the same with anxiety, it’s not a straight road. Not at all. But it’s possible to make better, to ease, to overcome. It takes time, practice and learning.

I’m not saying that if you’re struggling with anxiety that you should suddenly take on a half marathon. (By all means do if you want to!) But I am saying that you can apply the same mindset to your journey to feeling better. Anxiety is an entity that you can work on, improve and train. You have to allow yourself to train. You might surprise yourself with what you can achieve.

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Vicki writes about connections between us and the Earth over at heymamaearth.com